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Why We Debt: The Emotional and Cultural Factors at the Root of Your Debt Balance

It doesn't take a genius to understand that looks can sometimes be deceiving. A case in point is a sharp young sister named Deena. The classy, professional-looking twenty--five--year--old sat confidently in the office chair wearing a Donna Karan suit, Prada shoes, and carrying a $400 Zero Halliburton briefcase. She had just sailed through her first interview at a major Chicago--area bank. Mrs. Clark, the woman who would be her new boss, was clearly impressed with her. She indicated that there was every reason to believe she would soon be scheduling a second interview. For Deena, this news was a welcome relief.

"I'd done a lot of other jobs, like selling cosmetics and working as a waitress," Deena recalled, "but becoming a teller and working with money as a stepping--stone to an executive banking career just seems like the perfect fit for me." And it was coming right on time.

Years earlier, Deena had been through some rough times. As a nineteen--year--old college student, she became pregnant and gave birth to Tiffany. Although motherhood came as a surprise, she was determined to continue her education and expand her opportunities. Still, it was a struggle to care for herself and her bright--eyed daughter. Deena often found herself overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a single mom and a part--time student. To make ends meet, she sometimes charged groceries and diapers--not to mention the occasional designer clothes and shoes. When she complained to her parents that her credit--card balance had risen to more than $2,000, her father suggested that she file for bankruptcy, as he had done years earlier.

"It's only $2,000," she told him, feeling silly about going to all that trouble for such a small amount of money. Yet between her father's confidence in the idea and an incessant TV commercial that advocated bankruptcy and promised "$99 sets you free!," Deena gave in. Filing for bankruptcy would get everybody off her back and get rid of the debt so she could focus on taking care of her child and continue to pursue her dream of obtaining a college degree.

Five years later, when she was twenty--four, everything in Deena's life seemed to be coming together. She was engaged to Clifton, a PhD candidate, and they were raising her daughter, Tiffany, as well as a new son, Marcus. But Deena's debts started to climb again. Her credit--card balance was up to $1,000 and she owed $500 on her cell phone. As a student, Clifton wasn't bringing in much money. And Deena, with a part--time job of her own, was just helping them get by. Their fights over money got heated, and after another year they decided to split up. Deena was left scrambling again.

"Clifton always cried broke because of his soaring educational expenses, so only Tiffany's father provided any kind of steady child support," Deena recalled. "I ended up having to move back home with my parents. It was cheaper to live there, but I still didn't have enough money and I was still determined to finish those last few credits for my degree."

Then threatening letters started to arrive in the mail and bill collectors began harassing her on the phone. In the midst of this chaos, Deena still spent money trying to keep up appearances, in large part because she was self--conscious about being a never-married mother of two. She continued to dress impeccably as her children donned Baby Phat, Sean Jean, and FUBU. Deena made sure her clothing and her image were a priority. Now, with her second interview at the bank pending, Deena could finally imagine a day--not far in the future--when she could put the struggles...

 

 

GLINDA BRIDGFORTH is founder of Bridgforth Financial Management Group, a company that emphasizes holistic coaching. In 2006, Glinda appeared on Oprah in a five-part series called “America’s Debt Diet.” The author of the bestsellers Girl, Get Your Money Straight! and Girl, Make Your Money Grow!, she writes articles for Essence and is featured regularly on television and radio programs nationwide. She lives with her husband in Detroit.